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September 6

Sometimes it’s difficult to be as open and honest with my partner as I’d like to be, about hidden sexual desires I have. Maybe I have a fetish that I’m afraid my SO will consider "perverted", or find myself having an erotic response to thoughts of group sex, or swapping. I may feel safer just keeping such feelings to myself, instead of risking a horrified or other difficult reaction from my SO.
   It may help me to remember that thoughts are not choices. For example, I may have fantasized about being the comic book hero Superman or Superwoman, but didn’t make the choice of leaping off a tall building.
   Talking about such issues, and listening to my partner’s feelings and thoughts about them, gives us both a chance to explore our belief systems, and gain from each other’s insights and point of view. For instance, if I have a tickling fetish, talking about it gives my partner the freedom to ask questions, and get a better understanding of any fears they have, as well as what makes me tick. It isn’t necessary that my SO share my beliefs or values, in order for us to get a better understanding of each other.
   Just for Today

   Today, I’ll share some small thing about me with my partner, that I’ve been afraid to let out in the open. I’ll ask my SO to talk about any concerns they have about my revelation, and listen to see what I can learn from their viewpoint.

   We’re more likely to feel the pain of the thorns, when we keep a rose in the dark. - BH

@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.