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September 5

Sometimes my SO does something that really bothers me, but when I point it out to them, they get defensive. Is there anything I can do that might help me in getting them to really listen to me?
   If I want them to listen, perhaps the best example I can give them is listening to them, and ask them how they would like me to approach problems that are bothering me.
   Maybe in listening to them, I might find out that I talk down to them, as if they are a child. If I treat them as a child, why would I expect them not to react as a child?
   I may also find that I give them the hidden message that I’m right, and they’re wrong. Am I so sure that my reaction to whatever they’re doing is the best reaction possible? What kind of reaction would my SO like to see?
   If I hope for change from my SO, my example is going to have a big effect on their willingness to change. I may find that the more willing I am to look for ways I can handle the problem better, the more willing they will become as well.
   Just for Today

   Today, I’ll try to listen as much as I speak, when discussing a problem with my SO. If I find them getting defensive, I’ll ask them to help me see what I’m doing that adds to their defensiveness. If I can find better ways of communicating with my SO, both of us will win.     

   God gave me two ears and one mouth, so that I might listen twice as much as I speak.

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