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September 11

  
If my SO and I have had a breakup, we both may be finding it hard at times to rebuild our relationship. Not only are we still trying to deal with struggles that led to the separation, but chances are the breakup itself added extra pain and fear to both of our shoulders. How do we give ourselves the best chance to make things work again?
   Instead of looking at our past "mistakes" as weights that pull us down, it might be helpful to look at them as valuable experience that we won’t have to repeat - if we give ourselves the time we need to fully absorb the lessons we’ve learned from them.
   For example, maybe we thought breaking up would ease our unhappiness and confusion, but instead found we felt no better apart than we did together. Could it be that experience has shown us that leaving simply exchanges one set of problems for another?
   Thomas Edison used to say that he needed to discover the many ways lightbulbs wouldn’t work, in order to discover one of the ways it could. Maybe that approach could work for us too!
         
   Just for Today

   Today, I’ll take some time with my SO, and write down some of the things we’ve learned about relationships so far. Maybe we’re a lot further ahead than we realized in our understanding. If we’ve swum halfway across a lake already, does it really make much sense to turn back - even if the rest of the swim seems almost impossible?

   Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you. - Aldous Huxley


@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.