If my SO and I have had a breakup, we both may be finding it hard at
times to rebuild our relationship. Not only are we still trying to deal with struggles
that led to the separation, but chances are the breakup itself added extra pain and fear
to both of our shoulders. How do we give ourselves the best chance to make things work
Instead of looking at our past "mistakes" as weights that pull us
down, it might be helpful to look at them as valuable experience that we wont have
to repeat - if we give ourselves the time we need to fully absorb the lessons weve
learned from them.
For example, maybe we thought breaking up would ease our unhappiness and
confusion, but instead found we felt no better apart than we did together. Could it be
that experience has shown us that leaving simply exchanges one set of problems for
Thomas Edison used to say that he needed to discover the many ways lightbulbs
wouldnt work, in order to discover one of the ways it could. Maybe that approach
could work for us too!
Just for Today
Today, Ill take some time with my SO, and write down some of the things
weve learned about relationships so far. Maybe were a lot further ahead than
we realized in our understanding. If weve swum halfway across a lake already, does
it really make much sense to turn back - even if the rest of the swim seems almost
Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do
with what happens to you. - Aldous Huxley
@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may
be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.