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September 1

   
Am I expecting my love for my partner to be too perfect? Maybe I find myself at times saying things like "it really bothers me when my SO does ____, but I don’t say anything because I just love them sooooo much". It seems that arguing and fighting over such "faults" is one of the big reasons why so many couples break up.
   Yet, no matter how hard I try, sometimes I find myself feeling so resentful over how such faults affect me. I probably feel even worse when my partner brings up something I do that they don’t like. After all, I held my tongue; why can’t they do the same?
   Maybe talking about what bothers me doesn’t cause me as much of a problem, as what I expect to happen if I do. If I want my partner to change, I’m likely setting myself for disappointment. However, if I say what’s on my mind and ask for their help in dealing with it and finding solutions, maybe we both can win?
         
   Just for Today

   Today, I’ll take some time and be very honest with myself about things I feel resentment over because of my SO. I’ll ask my partner to help me find solutions to a few of them that make both of us winners as much as possible, and give them the same freedom and support in dealing with some of their resentments over things I’ve done. I’ll focus on getting lots of practice in resolving smaller differences, before I bring up any bigger ones.

   An argument is a discussion where everyone talks and no one listens - BH


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