"I guess I'm just unlucky at love". I've probably heard someone utter this line after another failed relationship, and bit my tongue to stop giving my two cents worth.
We all have our share of good luck, and bad luck - some more than others. But often it's easier to blame my calamities on bad luck, than look at the choices I made that got me in some fixes.
When I blame bad luck for my difficulties, what I often do is abdicate my responsibility for my choices. I rush into a relationship, and then exclaim "it was just my luck that he/she turned out to be alcoholic /two-timer/ possessive /abusive /etc, etc." In actuality, if I had taken the time to get to know the person slowly, many signs of such characteristics would have come screaming out at me.
Letting go of blaming luck can feel very painful at first, but ultimately such pain is far less than the accumulated pain I'll feel from more failed relationships. When I accept responsibility for my choices, I can get new insight as to why I made the choices I did, and see my hidden motives more clearly.
Just for Today
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