Why do opposites attract? Although most relationships have a core of shared values and beliefs, when I look at most couples - including my own relationship - I can often see many contrasts.
One is shy, the other is outgoing; one is calm, the other is emotional; one takes risks at the drop of a hat, the other plans things carefully; one likes to sit in front of the TV, the other likes going out.
When I think of how my partner made me feel "complete" when I first fell in love with them, it may give me some insight into myself if I listed the characteristics I found so adoring. I may discover that those traits are things I feel I don't have enough of, or am afraid to let out.
The truth is that all of us are more similar inside than we're different. In growing up, I learned to suppress important parts of me. I was told that it's bad to get angry, or cry, or take chances, or that I was stupid. Sometimes I learned these things by the examples of others.
Without realizing it, I sought out partners with the traits that were buried inside me. If I can't be angry, my partner can for me. My subconscious tries to make contact with my lost parts without my conscious mind being aware of it. I feel whole and complete when my partner is with me, but feel an emptiness and sense of loss when they aren't.
At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one's lost self. - Brendan Francis
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