Is selfishness bad or good? Maybe I should ask first if a hammer is bad, or good? It all depends on how it's used of course. If I hit someone with a hammer, then it's being used destructively. If however I build a cradle with it, then it becomes an instrument of love.
It would help me to view my selfishness in the same way. When I do something for myself that builds my self-confidence, brings me genuine happiness, or helps me deal with a difficult struggle, then my selfishness is loving. If my choice harms another person or causes unnecessary destruction, then it's very likely not loving.
When my selfishness is guided by genuine love, my relationship improves as a direct result. I become more contented inside, and challenges that daunted me in the past become more manageable. I find that I can take care of many needs that I depended on my SO for. In doing so, I reduce their sense of obligation, and they become more free to express love in ways that bring them happiness as well. I find eventually that loving selfishness becomes something that always benefits us both.
Just for Today
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