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May 16

   Have I had an affair? Many of us would recoil at the thought, as if such a choice would automatically mean the end of our relationship, or make us a terrible person.
   Yet many relationships are touched by such an event. It shakes to the core of our souls, as we struggle to make sense of the deep hurt, the feelings of betrayal and lost trust, the reasons why, and the other devastation it leaves in its wake.
   If an affair has touched our relationship, at times I wonder whether things will ever be the same. But why should I expect it to be so? It's not a hard conclusion to make that problems we had in the past led to the affair.
   An affair can be a wake-up call that leads both of us to building a new relationship that can be much better than before, if both of us are willing. If I allow my pain to lead me to outside help, to being more honest with myself and my SO, to listening more to all my feelings, and to talking with, instead of "at" each other more, I can often discover a whole new way of relating that is more genuinely loving. Like anything worth doing, it takes tremendous commitment, but such commitment can give us equally tremendous rewards.

Just for Today
   Today I'll accept full responsibility for any choice of infidelity I may have made. I'll also stop kicking myself over my human imperfections, and do my best to see what it can teach me about myself, and our relationship. I'll remember that there are many answers I cannot see on my own, and will seek out the help I need to find them.

Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. - Henry J. Kaiser

@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.