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Arguments are often like mud fights - the longer they go on, the messier everything gets, and the harder it gets to see anything clearly.
When I "discuss" issues with my SO, do my conversations sometimes turn into mud fights, with each trying to score a "hit" on each other, until one finally loses, and the other wins?
There's a saying that if one person loses in a relationship, no one wins. If I bring up my partners misdeeds and faults to try and convince them how much they hurt me, all I'm doing is slinging mud, with the strange hope that if it hits them in the eyes, they can see my side better.
If I really want to clear the air, and have my partner understand how I feel, I can set a clear example. By encouraging them to speak freely, without me defending myself or rebuking them, I can help build a real spirit of love and conciliation. Maybe we'll discover that both our actions were less than perfect, once we truly listen to each other's thought and feelings.
Just for Today
Today I'll look at one small problem I
want to talk over with my SO, and ask them to discuss it
with me. If they agree, I'll try my best to refrain from
pointing out what is wrong with them or their past
choices. Instead, I'll encourage them to talk openly and
treat everything they say with respect, and ask them to
do the same for me.
Free and fair discussion will ever be
found the firmest friend to truth. - G. Campbell
@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.