When I'm in a bad mood, I sometimes find myself criticizing my SO in conversations with others, pointing out their most recent "crimes" or talking about how difficult it is to put up with this or that fault of theirs.
If I tape recorded what I said, I'd probably be surprised at much I remind myself of others that I've heard whining about their relationships. I remember thinking that maybe they should look at their own faults first.
Criticizing my SO often diverts me from my responsibility to myself, to improve what I can - which is my own imperfections. I don't have to put myself down for my faults, but simply recognize them, and put my focus and efforts there.
In doing so, I find that problems that I thought were my partner's fault suddenly appear in a new light. I see that my nagging has only resulted in more resistance on their part; my scowls have left them with little encouragement to feel good about changes they might want to make.
Just for Today
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