Have I ever thought about or actually had an affair? I might recoil in horror from the thought, exclaiming to myself that I would never do such a thing. Yet surveys have shown that close to half of us will be unfaithful to our partners at some time during our lives.
Maybe all I've done so far is flirt or thought about it in my imagination, with a firm line drawn in the sand that I've pledge not to cross. Or I've gone further, and started seeing someone regularly "just as friends", trying to rationalize an attraction that keeps growing in me.
It's almost impossible to be truly honest with others, when I'm not honest with myself. When I feel myself looking outside my current relationship, I'm getting a valuable wakeup call that I'm avoiding something important in our relationship. It isn't my attraction that I need to fear, as much as my reluctance to find out why it exists.
If I play with fire long enough, I eventually get burnt. Do I really think I can make good choices when I'm dealing with the ashes of our relationship? Or is now the best time to find the insights and solutions that are the healthiest for me, before I make a choice I can't undo?
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