Most couples have arguments during their relationship. Some are heated discussions, provoked by actions that trigger deep anger, hurt, or other strong emotions. I dread having such times of upheaval in our relationship. Yet it's often during those troublesome periods that I find out things I never realized before about myself and my partner.
For instance, my SO becomes extremely upset that I have been late one too many times, and I discover though the tears and screaming that they had a terrifying childhood experience once when their parents were late picking them up. An explosion over sexual struggles reveals that I was once raped, and had been too ashamed to tell them about it.
When I experience turbulent times, it could help me if I paused for a moment, and asked myself if there is something that I or my partner am afraid to be truthful about? Often there is; once I realize that, it becomes easier to handle those fears through kindness and understanding, not through further lashing.
Trouble that leads us to truth is a friend.
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