"Don't get mad, get even". When my SO does something I feel has wronged me, one of my first reactions may be to treat them back as badly. Usually I want them to know how they "made me feel".
For example, they come home late after breaking a promise to call and let me know, so I throw their supper in the garbage. They withhold sex, so I go out to a card game on the night I promised to go to the movies. Or in an extreme case, they are unfaithful, so I go out and have a fling of my own. What does such retribution accomplish? Almost always, it makes a difficult situation even more difficult, like throwing gas on a fire.
No matter what wrong they may have committed, it's impossible for them to know how exactly how I feel - regardless of what I do - simply because my emotions exist uniquely inside me. I can, however, tell and show them my feelings as clearly as I can, without muddying the waters by trying to get them to feel the same way.
If I concentrate on healing, rather than retribution, I'll begin to discover that my SO makes themself more miserable than they could ever make me, in making their harmful choices.
Just for Today
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