"I want patience, and I want it NOW". This line may make me chuckle, but if I'm looking at our relationship, and despairing at how little things have improved over the past, I probably wonder how much patience I'm supposed to have.
How long should it take to finally have a great relationship, or even a good one? If I accept that my relationship with my SO can only be as good as my relationship with myself, I can see that "how long" depends a lot on me.
How often am I impatient, unkind, unforgiving, angry, or unhappy with myself? Do I like getting this sort of treatment from myself? Likely not. Yet, why should I expect my partner to treat me any better than I do?
If I leave my SO because of such treatment, then I'm really only tackling half the problem. If I'm going to only handle half, wouldn't it make more sense to tackle my half first?
When I do, what I begin to find is that I no longer need as much patience as I did in the past. As my acceptance of myself grows, I begin to see my SO in a whole new light. As long as they aren't happy with themself, it's impossible for them to be happy with me. As I see this more from my own experience, I can begin treating them in ways that help them accept themself more, instead of adding to both our frustrations.
@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.