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June 5

   If my partner became severely disabled or ill tomorrow, what would I probably do? I might respond that such an occurrence wouldn't change my love for them, but if I'm already faced with such a challenge, I know how difficult such a situation can be.
   If I'm dealing with such a situation, my own life probably revolves a fair amount around my SO's disability or illness. I feel guilty because of my good health, and frustrated because I don't have the power to take away my partner's pain or fears. I exert tremendous energy in trying to prove my love, and compassion, but then get racked by guilt when I start feeling resentment over the unfair burden I've been given as well. I need to remember such feelings are natural; I'm simply human. If I look closely at my anger and resentment, I might see that they're perfectly appropriate when directed at the disease; I can hate the disease, but love the person.
   I'm also not a god; I simply don't have the power to magically fix or take care of things that go beyond normal human limitations. When I focus on what I can do, I can see that taking good care of myself is equally important as taking good care of my partner. Would I let a doctor help me if they hadn't eaten or slept in a week?

Just for Today
   Today I'll remember to treat myself well, because I can only give what I actually have. If my partner has been afflicted with a serious disease or other physical condition, I'll stop draining myself with guilt and anger at my limitations. I can't give my best if I'm at my worst.

Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. No one was there. - Hindu Proverb


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