If I've gone to a therapist with my SO, or gotten other insight into problems our relationship is facing, it's quite likely that I feel I'm doing the most work in trying to improve our relationship.
Perhaps I've gotten the impression that I have to make more sacrifices or changes than my partner; maybe I refuse to go through any more pain or effort until I see my partner putting in the effort I think they should.
As long as I put off working on my half of the relationship, I'm the one that loses. I remain stuck in my turmoil for as long as my partner stays stuck in theirs. Solutions to my unhappiness are waiting around me like a buffet, but I refuse to eat because I don't want to make the effort alone.
If I stepped on a nail at the same time as my SO, would I wait for them to lift their foot before I moved mine off the nail? Not likely. Why do I do the same kind of thing in our relationship?
If I realize that my happiness is my responsibility alone, I can see that I'm putting one of my biggest responsibilities on my SO's shoulders. As long as I wait for my partner to make the effort I expect, they'll likely do the same with me.
Just for Today
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