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June 26

   If I've gone to a therapist with my SO, or gotten other insight into problems our relationship is facing, it's quite likely that I feel I'm doing the most work in trying to improve our relationship.
   Perhaps I've gotten the impression that I have to make more sacrifices or changes than my partner; maybe I refuse to go through any more pain or effort until I see my partner putting in the effort I think they should.
   As long as I put off working on my half of the relationship, I'm the one that loses. I remain stuck in my turmoil for as long as my partner stays stuck in theirs. Solutions to my unhappiness are waiting around me like a buffet, but I refuse to eat because I don't want to make the effort alone.
   If I stepped on a nail at the same time as my SO, would I wait for them to lift their foot before I moved mine off the nail? Not likely. Why do I do the same kind of thing in our relationship?
   If I realize that my happiness is my responsibility alone, I can see that I'm putting one of my biggest responsibilities on my SO's shoulders. As long as I wait for my partner to make the effort I expect, they'll likely do the same with me.

Just for Today
   I can't find solutions to our problems if my eyes stay focussed on what my partner is doing or not doing.
   Today I'll look for answers to my own imperfections, accept insight when it is given to me, and use it to help me love better and move toward greater happiness.

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. - Winston Churchill


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