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June 24

   Rabbits often handle danger by staying still, acting as if fear is paralyzing them. While this defense mechanism may help them in certain situations, other times it ends up being the worst thing they could do, putting them in the most peril.
   Have I found myself acting the same way at times in my relationship? Maybe some major problems have been growing in our relationship, but when I try to make changes I hope will help me cope, my partner reacts in ways that trigger fear in me. Perhaps I'm afraid they will leave, or end the relationship if I make choices they dislike enough; maybe the level of tension rises, and I find myself constantly on guard against another outburst of anger.
   In such case, I may feel paralyzed, and afraid to do anything except try to keep the status quo. Maybe at such times I should ask myself though whether I am really better off, or worse off by doing so?
   If my partner doesn't support healthy changes that I make for me, then my happiness will depend on their permission for as long as I allow. Their happiness will also depend on me acting the way they want. In doing nothing, I may be robbing both of us more than I ever realized.

Just for Today
   Do I find myself feeling paralyzed at times because I'm afraid of my partner's reaction?
   Today I'll take time to find out if such inaction is hurting both of us, more than it is helping us. Courage isn't the lack of fear; it's doing the right thing in spite of fear.

He who fears he will suffer already suffers from his fear.- Montaigne


@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.