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June 23

   One of the simplest yet most effective ways to handle criticisms or judgements is the "mirror" approach.
   For example, if my partner or someone else calls me kind, compassionate, and considerate, usually what kind of person are they? They probably fit the same description too - kind, compassionate, and considerate.
   If that's true, wouldn't this work the same way if someone insulted or criticized me? If someone called me rude, their true nature is likely rudeness. If they call me lazy, they don't bother spending much time working on understanding others.
   When I hold up the mirror in this way, I can see that when someone puts me down, the person they are really describing is themself. If so, how can I argue or get upset when someone is really insulting themself? If they want to put themselves down, that's their right. In my mind, I can quietly hold the mirror up, and let whatever insults they give me reflect back on them, where they belong.

Just for Today
   Today I'll "hold up a mirror" when someone criticizes or judges me, realizing they probably do so because of unhappiness with themself. If someone wants to stay on a train of unhappiness, that is their right - but I don't have to buy a ticket and join them. I'll remember that whatever they say about me is really describing themselves, not me.

Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life. - Merle Shan


@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.