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June 2

   When I feel anger or some other uncomfortable emotion over something my partner said or did, I might be tempted to say "they made me feel that way".
   But how can my SO "force" me to feel such an emotion? Would I go to prison if I didn't, or suffer some other dire consequence? Highly unlikely.
   What I may mistakenly believe is that I can't help but feel a certain way when my partner makes a particular choice. "It's only natural", I exclaim, as if it would be abnormal if I reacted differently. The truth is that I'm able to feel any number of emotions for a particular action, depending on how I view it.
   For example, if my SO responds to a hug by ignoring me and continuing to watch TV, it's easy to get angry and blame my anger on their rejection. If I think about it though, I can see that they're the ones losing the most. I can choose to feel compassion for them, knowing that no matter what feelings lead them to such a choice, they can't be comfortable or feel loving, as much as they try to disguise them.

Just for Today
   Unless my partner is using physical coercion, they can't "make" me feel anything, unless I let them. If I do let them, then I can also blame my feelings on anything I want - the phases of the moon, or how long the grass is today.
   Today I'll accept responsibility for my feelings, and try to decide how I want to feel in a particular situation. I'll look for new ways of changing my views to achieve those results.

Life is a struggle, but not a warfare. - John Burroughs


@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.