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June 19

   "Poor communication" is listed as one of the main reasons for the breakup of many relationships. I might think that this means partners don't know how to talk to one another, but usually the biggest problem is that they don't truly listen to each other.
   When I talk to my SO, do I get irritated when they jump in to defend themselves, or point a finger back at me, or try to change the subject, or muddy the waters? I probably do - it's impossible for my partner to hear me at the same time they're talking.
   Even when they say they hear me, often their reactions don't give me the feeling they really heard me, or understood what I was trying to tell them. My normal reaction is to get even angrier at such times, or quit the conversation because I feel it's getting me nowhere.
   It may help me if I ask for my partner's co-operation beforehand, by asking them to listen only. If they lapse, I can give them gentle reminders, and express my thanks with a caring hug once I'm done. I can also give them my co-operation by listening to them while they talk without interruption.

Just for Today
   If I've been exasperated by my partner's interruptions when I try to talk to them about my thoughts and feelings, I'll stop getting angry over their normal reaction.
   Today I'll ask for their co-operation in listening, and give the same back to them when they talk. I'll handle any lapses that either of us makes in caring ways.

The best way to get your mate to be silent for a moment is to give them a kiss. - BH


@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.