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July 7

   Does my partner drink or gamble too much, or practice other behavior that seems addictive? Or maybe they've lied to us about something big, or spend a lot of time watching TV, or reading books, etc.
   When something about my SO bothers me in a big way, I may look at that behavior and see very little else of them. For example, I might call my SO a "drunk", a "couch potato", a "bore", or use some other label fairly often.
   How would I feel if people called me a "foot", or a "hand" - instead of a "person" - because that's all they chose to see? I'd likely feel angry. I'm a whole human being, and deserve to be treated as such.
   If I take a look at all the qualities my partner has, I'll likely see that I've been minimizing many of their qualities I do like. When I find myself upset at them for things I don't like, I can take a few moments and remind myself of many of their other qualities. Doing this can help me talk to them about traits I do have problems with, by giving me a better perspective of them as a whole person.

Just for Today
   Today I'll make a list of things I like and don't like about my partner, and make sure I write more things in the "good" column than I do in the "fault" column. In doing this, I'll see that my SO is simply a human mixture of strengths and imperfections, just like I am. We each deserve to be loved as a total package.

Whoever wants to see a brick must look at its pores, and must keep his eyes close to it. But whoever wants to see a cathedral cannot see it as he sees a brick. This demands a respect for distance. - Jose Ortega Gasset


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