Does my partner drink or gamble too much, or practice other behavior that seems addictive? Or maybe they've lied to us about something big, or spend a lot of time watching TV, or reading books, etc.
When something about my SO bothers me in a big way, I may look at that behavior and see very little else of them. For example, I might call my SO a "drunk", a "couch potato", a "bore", or use some other label fairly often.
How would I feel if people called me a "foot", or a "hand" - instead of a "person" - because that's all they chose to see? I'd likely feel angry. I'm a whole human being, and deserve to be treated as such.
If I take a look at all the qualities my partner has, I'll likely see that I've been minimizing many of their qualities I do like. When I find myself upset at them for things I don't like, I can take a few moments and remind myself of many of their other qualities. Doing this can help me talk to them about traits I do have problems with, by giving me a better perspective of them as a whole person.
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