"I know I have my faults, but it still makes me mad that THEY don't want to change (fill in the blank)".
Do I have an unwritten list of who in this relationship has certain faults and problems? Do I find myself comparing lists inside my head, thinking that if I change a fault I have, my partner should be willing to change something "equally" difficult with them?
When I try to "bargain" this way - even if it's only in my mind - I often end up being disappointed. It seems that as soon as we get one problem area out of the way, another one pops up, or an old one resurfaces.
If I am carrying around my faults and my SO's around in my head, wouldn't it automatically lighten my load by half if I let go of thinking about my partner's problems? When I look at the things about me that I'm having difficulties with , I can see that just working on myself is a full-time job.
The deeper I look, the more I begin to see that many of my fears and painful moments have roots deep in my childhood. Often, my partner's faults simply bring these rushing to the surface.
Just for Today
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