I may have said at one time or another: "why can't things be the way they were before?" Maybe the relationship has hit some rocky ground, or added pressures, or something about my partner has changed.
People and things change; that's unavoidable. Sometimes I can have an impact on what direction the change takes me, such as going job hunting when my job becomes tenuous, or unsatisfying.
When I want my SO to change their behavior, outlook, or beliefs to what they were in our happier times though, I may be flirting with disaster. I don't have the wisdom to know what type of change is best for my SO. When I ask them to change to help me be happier, I'm setting myself up for disappointment, and their natural resentment at not being accepted as they are.
What I can do is look more closely at what I dislike or fear about a particular change. Often I find that I'm afraid of the unknown. I may be anxious that the change will bring me more unhappiness, or turmoil.
What does all this worry get me? Knots in my stomach. If instead, I simply take the change as it comes, make the best decisions I can, and accept that change will always be part of my life, my life will improve as a natural result.
Just for Today
@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.