In most new relationships, sex often plays a big part of the time together. The passion is new, and the joys of discovering each other, and being close seem to grow each day. Eventually, however, real life seems to begin intruding, and sex dwindles off to become an infrequent and smaller part of the relationship.
If this has happened with me and my SO, we may be discovering that we're still strangers in many ways. Worse, without the "safety" of sex, the time that we do spend together may show up more of our imperfections, and anxiety over not meeting our partner's needs or having them meet our own. But what are my partner's needs? And even more, what are my own?
Chances are, the passion of good sex has made it easier to postpone looking at both of these questions. Instead of bemoaning the decrease of sex in our relationship, maybe I can welcome the change as an opportunity to get to know my SO better, and share more of who I am inside.
I can also use the change to explore intimacy through non-sexual caressing and touching, reinforcing the safety my partner feels with me.
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