If I have children, I likely find myself trying to instill values in them that I believe are important. Much of my efforts also focus on my relationship with them: I don't want them to lie to me, or treat me with disrespect, or take unfair advantage of me.
I may forget however that my example speaks louder than any words I might say. The way I treat my partner is a big part of this example.
If I resent certain things my SO does or doesn't do, why should I be surprised if my children resent things I do or don't do at times? If I'm not willing to work out problems with my SO in kind and caring ways, my children will find it hard to trust that I will treat them any differently.
When my children are upset or angry with me, or misbehaving, they may be giving me important clues to my behavior. Instead of trying to change or fix them, I might get more rewarding an permanent results by looking carefully at the examples I'm giving them.
@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.