Sometimes, it's easy to look at our relationship, and exclaim "look at all I did for them". I see sacrifices that I've made, and extra efforts and understanding I've given them. I look at what they've done in return, and sometimes I feel as if I've gotten the short end of the stick in ways.
If I try to "balance" the value of my SO's similar sacrifices and efforts with mine,. chances are I'll always be frustrated. My partner's view of things is different, because they're a different person, with a naturally different perspective. Even when things seem to balance out "logically", I may be confused if it still feels I've gotten less than I deserved in return.
If my motive in doing things for my SO is to get something that feels "equal" back, chances are I'll continue to be frustrated and disappointed. If however, I look at what needs to be done to improve my life and our relationship, and do what feels good to me, then I become more able to enjoy the satisfaction of making a positive difference.
Chances are, the best motivation I can give my SO is my example. The more accomplishment I feel joy over, the more likely my partner will start wondering "why are they having all the fun?'
I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done. - Madame Curie
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