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July 19

   I want a satisfying career, good kids, a home of our own, a sense of financial security, intimacy, mutual respect, love, freedom to be me, and fun together times. Sound like a close-to-ideal relationship?
   In reality though, I may be finding that "freedom to be me" to my SO means that they drink as much as they want, or spend time out with "other" friends, leaving me alone.
   Or a "satisfying career" translates into uprooting everyone with transfers, or working long hours.
   I feel frustrated when my partner's sense of priorities doesn't match mine, and I end up feeling more and more resentment over lost dreams and hopes.
   Are my priorities as clear as they could be though? Do I ask my SO to spend less time at work - but then talk hours later about how the bills seem to keep piling up? Or do I tell them I want more intimacy, and then spend the evening playing cards with friends?
   If I list what's most important to me, likely I'll see that the things at the top of the list are those money can't buy.

Just for Today
   Today, I'll take some time and write down my thoughts about what I want most in this relationship. I'll look at how things lower on the list take away from the more important things at times. If I can't have it all, at least I can make better choices that will help me get more of what I want most.

Yes, there is a Nirvanah; it is leading your sheep to a green pasture, and in putting your child to sleep, and in writing the last line of your poem. - Kahlil Gibran


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