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July 17

   "I'm sorry." How hard it is to say those two words at times. Sometimes I feel that, in saying "I'm sorry", I'm letting my SO off the hook for something they did as well.
   Who said that being sorry meant I took responsibility for everything that may have gone wrong in a particular situation? The truth is, most problems occur in our relationship because of misunderstandings or human mistakes on both our parts. If that's true, than there's likely something that I can truthfully - and graciously - say I'm sorry about in each situation.
   For example, I'm sorry that: I didn't ask you more about your feelings; I didn't realize that; I didn't know all the facts I needed; I wasn't more understanding, or thoughtful; I made a mistake; I forgot.. Sometimes I can be sorry that my SO had a rough day, or a bad past experience.
   All these are "true" statements, when they apply. In saying "I'm sorry.....", I admit that I'm not perfect, and take pressure off my partner to be perfect. What I may find is those simple actions alone can bring down defensive walls between us, and create a climate where both of us can begin to find real solutions.

Just for Today
   Today, I'll think of one thing that I can say I'm sorry about, and tell my SO "I'm sorry that.....". In being open and upfront about my own natural human imperfection, I'll help create a climate where both of us are allowed to make mistakes as a natural part of learning to love.

An apology is the superglue of life: it can repair just about anything. - Lynn Johnston


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