dates31.gif (1655 bytes)
July 16

   If someone asked me "what makes a good relationship", I'd likely have a fairly clear view of what I want in one. Maybe I believe that a good relationship has some or all of the following: love, honesty, openness, respect, acceptance, equal sharing of responsibilities, kindness, shared interests and values, and so on.
   If I asked my partner the same question, I might be surprised that they share many of the same beliefs. If so, why do we seem to be such a world apart at times?
   One word that we may have unintentionally added to that list was "obligation". Often, it's unspoken. When I "should" be as loving or open, or have the shared interests my SO thinks I should have - or vice versa - the relationship loses the spirit of all the good things on the list, and becomes a cage of "shoulds".

Just for Today
   Today, I'll look at other relationships I learned from, and review which ones had constant struggle, and which seemed truly loving. Maybe much of what I learned came from troubled relationships,. Hanging on to those beliefs will likely give me the same kinds of troubles.

It is hard to let old beliefs go. They are familiar. We are comfortable with them and have spent years building systems and developing habits that depend on them. Like a man who has worn eyeglasses so long that he forgets he has them on, we forget that the world looks to us the way it does because we have become used to seeing it that way through a particular set of lenses. Today, however, we need new lenses. And we need to throw the old ones away. - Kenich Ohmae

@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.