Odat cover Introduction

Throughout this book, the term "SO" is used to designate "significant other". This is a gender neutral term that makes it easier to describe any number of different partner types. The relationship you are currently struggling with may be a close friend, a wife or husband, a girlfriend or boyfriend, or some other person. In the majority of cases, the readings will apply to any of those.

There is no distinction between heterosexual or gay relationships. I believe loving truths apply to any type of relationship, although there are distinctive issues in each different type of relationship.

You'll notice quotes from Al-anon in some of the readings. This 12 Step program - for people affected by someone else's drinking - has been a pivotal part of my recovery, and the healing of our marriage.

The "one day at a time" approach comes directly from 12 Step philosophy. Often, we feel so much pain and frustration, that we try to fix a whole lot of things at once. It doesn't work, much to our dismay after many years of trying. If we take just one day at a time though, and concentrate on just changing one thing - often by just trying a new way of looking at something - all those little steps take us steadily towards greater peace of mind, and happiness.

Whether you read one page each day, or a lot, whatever works for you, is always the best. If you can just work on one small thing each day though, those changes become manageable, and easier, and can add a lot to your confidence.


Best wishes. Everyone deserves every happiness possible in their relationship, and in their life. You do too.

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