Odat cover Foreword

The daily readings in this book come from a lot of trials, twists and turns that my wife Lynda and I have gone through in trying to come to grips with many of our relationship frustrations over the first 17 years of marriage. (to find out more about what we have been through, please visit our Personal Recovery Page).

I am no psychologist, just an average human being who has been lucky enough to stumble on a few answers, during a ongoing search for answers about life and love in the years following our breakup.

Just in case you might think Lynda and I have had a charmed relationship, let me point out a few things. I have had 3 short affairs, 2 business failures (losing $50,000 in the process), have been chronically depressed all my life, and - in the year this introduction was written - earned $6,000 self-employed, have been out of work countless times throughout our marriage, and drive a beat-up 85 Dodge that has more polyfil than the house does.

Lynda has had one long affair, was sexually abused as a child, raped as a teen, and has been the main breadwinner in the home throughout our marriage.

We have split up twice, and yet by some miracle, we are still together. Not only are we together, but we have rediscovered something that was stolen from each of us as a child: a simple belief in love, and all its magic.

We love each other simply because we exist; that we found has been the key. We support each other's freedom to be who we are as individuals, and share who we are, and what we discover with each other. It works, wonderfully. We realize now that each of us has always been trying do the best we can, and it is ok to be imperfect.

It's okay if you feel that we are nuts, fake, or whatever. This book isn't about us - it's sharing what we have learned that helps us find more love in our relationship every day. It worked for us - we hope it can work for you.

In Al-anon, we say "take what you like, and leave the rest". I encourage you to do the same with this book. If you find anything that helps you, pass it along. That is all the thanks I ever need.

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