Have I ever agonized over a question such as "why can't he/she understand how I feel?" Maybe I've had an argument with my SO, and found that the more I talk, the more frustrated I get. Or I thought I had explained something clearly to them, only to find out they later made a choice that left me thinking "I'd have been better off talking to the wall!"
At such times, it may help me to look closely at whether I was really looking for their understanding, or obedience? If I'm lecturing my partner about how right my viewpoint is, for example, I give them the clear message that their viewpoint is "wrong", or "mistaken". Have I really listened carefully and thoughtfully to their point of view? Unless I truly have, it's hypocritical of me to expect them to listen to mine any better.
If I played back my words, I might find that I'm not only expecting them to agree with my point of view, but also make choices I want because of it. Maybe in their mind, my SO may be thinking "once I understand you, it means I have to do what you want". No wonder they don't want to understand!
@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.