When problems arise in our relationship that seem to leave major damage in their wake, I usually find myself agonizing again and again over the events that lead to my current despair.
What does this accomplish? Sometimes it helps me get a better understanding of what went wrong, and what changes I need to make to ensure the same thing doesn't happen again. Most often though, I do it to keep a rush of deep pain from sweeping up and overwhelming me.
I need to mourn my losses fully though. I need to take time, and feel the pain, and rant and rave, and scream and sob if and when I need to. Once I let it all out, I can finally gain new peace and understanding, almost automatically.
If I dwell on the past however, I keep running the same scenes over and over again through my head, keeping myself miserable. What's done is done; I can handcuff myself to the past, or I can accept its lessons gratefully, and decide to make today a day all its own - one that doesn't have to contain chains to yesterday.
Just for Today
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