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February 11

   Is there a secret in my life right now that I'm afraid to tell my SO? Chances are, most people have had secrets that they've felt ashamed of or have been scared to talk about. Maybe I have one or more that would be a molehill to most, but feels like a mountain to me.
   Perhaps I feel it's a secret that would take a lot of understanding from my partner, such as a past criminal record, addiction, an abortion, prostitution, or so on. If I've been a victim of sexual abuse or rape, it may feel scary to open up an issue that I'm still struggling with myself.
   When I struggle to keep part of myself secret from my SO though, it affects many other areas of our relationship, often without me even realizing it. I grow defensive whenever conversation touches on a subject close to my secret, often to the confusion of my partner. I carry my shame around like a big brick, angry at the weight it adds to my life, yet refusing to let it go.
   Yet when I finally open up and let a "horrible" secret out to the light of day, I usually find that its ability to harm me was strongest when it was a secret. In letting it out, I finally break the chains it has imposed on my life, and are able to move on, free at last from its clutches.

Just for Today
   If I have a terrible secret I don't want my SO to know about, I'll ask myself "just how terrible is it?"
   Today, I'll share it with someone whose life won't be devastated by knowing it, and see if I can find the insight to put it in it's proper place in my life - and finally show it the light of day.

We are only as sick as our secrets. - Alcoholics Anonymous


@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.