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August 23

   
If I had a broken finger but felt pain coming from my big toe instead, would putting a cast on my toe help me much? Not likely. Chances are, I’d keep doing damage to my broken finger, and then blame the doctor because my toe was hurting even more!
  Maybe some of the pain I feel in this relationship works the same way. Maybe it seems as if it’s my partner hurting me, when in fact the pain is actually being caused by something else.
  For instance, I feel jealous and hurt when I see them talking to someone else that seems more attractive than me. Is it their actions, or my own fears about being unworthy that are causing my pain?
  When I feel hurt, blaming my SO when the cause is actually something else keeps me trapped in more pain. It also deprives me of the serenity and love I deserve in this relationship. Maybe I’ve simply been taught to look in the wrong directions in searching for sources to my pain.

Just for Today
  Today, if I feel hurt because of something my SO does or doesn’t do, I’ll search for clues that there may be other reasons for my pain. I’ll think back to the past when I felt similar hurt, and see what fears about my own worthiness come to the surface. I’ll seek out others’ insight to help me find the true sources of my pain.

If I apply a bandage to the wrong patch of skin, how can I expect it to stop a cut from bleeding? - BH


@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.