If I had a broken finger but felt pain coming from my big toe instead, would putting a cast on my toe help me much? Not likely. Chances are, Id keep doing damage to my broken finger, and then blame the doctor because my toe was hurting even more!
Maybe some of the pain I feel in this relationship works the same way. Maybe it seems as if its my partner hurting me, when in fact the pain is actually being caused by something else.
For instance, I feel jealous and hurt when I see them talking to someone else that seems more attractive than me. Is it their actions, or my own fears about being unworthy that are causing my pain?
When I feel hurt, blaming my SO when the cause is actually something else keeps me trapped in more pain. It also deprives me of the serenity and love I deserve in this relationship. Maybe Ive simply been taught to look in the wrong directions in searching for sources to my pain.
If I apply a bandage to the wrong patch of skin, how can I expect it to stop a cut from bleeding? - BH
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