August 20

Sometimes I may get suggestions about our relationship that I don’t understand as well as I’d like. For example, my partner have a drinking problem, and someone tells me to join Al-anon, and learn to take care of myself. Or my SO has had an affair, and someone who has been through the same thing says "let go, give them freedom." Such answers don’t make much sense to me, because it seems as if they don’t do anything about the real "problem".
  It may help me at such times to remember that I don’t have to know how something works in order to use it to help me. For example, I may know next to nothing about how a TV works inside, yet that doesn’t stop me from using it to entertain and educate myself.
  Likewise, it isn’t necessary for me to understand other people’s experience in order to benefit from it. Instead of asking "how could that possibly work?", maybe I’m better off asking "how do I work on that?". If I see someone else getting positive results from using those suggestions, there’s no reason I can’t achieve the same, even if I don’t understand why it works.

Just for Today
  Today, I’ll take a problem we have in our relationship, and ask others if they’ve faced a similar problem, and find out what they did to solve it. If I find someone who found the kinds of results I’m looking for, I’ll ask for their help in putting their suggestions to work, and trust that those suggestions can work well for me too, even if I don’t understand how.

Time makes more converts than reason. - Thomas Paine

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