Theres a saying that its easier to learn a good habit than to break a bad one. In our relationship, chances are that both my SO and I have a mix of both good and bad relationship "habits", learned from watching our parents and other couples.
In driving cars, drivers with bad driving habits are a lot more likely to have painful accidents. In relationships, doesnt it make sense that "crashes" can be very good clues that theres "bad habits" at work as well?
When something in our relationship causes me turmoil or pain, it may be helpful to me to look at what habit of mine may be at work. Maybe Im used to clamming up when Im frustrated, or lashing out when I feel hurt, for example. If what I do brings me more frustration, looking at my normal ways of handling such situations may give me valuable clues that can lead me toward better ways of handling such problems. Looking at them as "habits" can also help me accept that change may take a long time, because no one is able to change a habit overnight.
Just for Today
It is often wiser to unlearn than learn. - Edward George Bulwer-Lytton
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