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Am I in a codependant relationship? Maybe I've heard the term "codependant" somewhere in my travels, and shuddered with horror at the thought I could be one of them. Yet if I stop being afraid of any stigma I feel over such a term, I may discover some valuable insight.
I'm probably codependant if I focus a lot on my partner's imperfections; if my emotions go up and down a lot because of what my partner does, or doesn't do; I feel responsible for many of my partner's feelings; or I use terms like "never, always, you make me angry/sad-/mad/happy".
When I engage in codependant behavior, it's not a "bad" thing; usually it's just the only way I know to relate to my partner, because of parents' example as well as others.
Codependancy however robs me of many joys relationships can give. I spend huge amounts of time and energy trying to change my partner, often without even realizing I'm trying to do so. But if I become aware that I can't change others, only myself, I can begin to tap into a wonderful voyage of self-discovery. I can put the focus of my efforts more and more on myself, allowing me to find the acceptance of my partner that genuine love brings.
Just for Today
Am I tempted at times to try and change
my partner's imperfections?
Today I'll remind myself that every
minute I spend trying to improve my SO takes away time I
need to work on me, my faults, and my happiness.
You can't steer two cars at the same time. - BH
@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.