Am I in a codependant relationship? Maybe I've heard the term "codependant" somewhere in my travels, and shuddered with horror at the thought I could be one of them. Yet if I stop being afraid of any stigma I feel over such a term, I may discover some valuable insight.
I'm probably codependant if I focus a lot on my partner's imperfections; if my emotions go up and down a lot because of what my partner does, or doesn't do; I feel responsible for many of my partner's feelings; or I use terms like "never, always, you make me angry/sad-/mad/happy".
When I engage in codependant behavior, it's not a "bad" thing; usually it's just the only way I know to relate to my partner, because of parents' example as well as others.
Codependancy however robs me of many joys relationships can give. I spend huge amounts of time and energy trying to change my partner, often without even realizing I'm trying to do so. But if I become aware that I can't change others, only myself, I can begin to tap into a wonderful voyage of self-discovery. I can put the focus of my efforts more and more on myself, allowing me to find the acceptance of my partner that genuine love brings.
Just for Today
You can't steer two cars at the same time. - BH
@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.