dates31.gif (1655 bytes)
.
April 19

   I crawl into bed after a night of drinking, or watching TV alone, or immersed in some other activity that takes me away from my turmoil inside over our relationship. In the morning, I vow that this is going to be a better day, but when those feelings return full force - maybe the next night, or a few nights later - I find myself drinking again, or vegged out in front of the TV, or doing some other activity that buries my despair just as well.
   There's an old saying that "when nothing changes, nothing changes". Sometimes I need to escape from our relationship problems, simply to give me more time to get new insight, or rebuild my inner strength. But when I get into a habit of escaping, I find the problems don't really go away on their own - they get buried beneath the surface, ready to explode like a volcano when I least expect it.
   It would be wonderful to be able to run away from problems, and simply have them disappear. But unfortunately, they don't. Pain avoided usually means pain delayed, and multiplied. If I'm using numbing out activities to avoid pain, sooner or later it will stop working, and my activity itself will begin adding to my problems, and those of the relationship.

Just for Today
   Today, instead of trying to drown my sorrows through some numbing out activity, I'll try to escape in healthy ways. A walk, a visit with a friend, a relaxing bath are all ways of treating myself well. As I feel better about myself, my ability to handle whatever problems our relationship is facing will improve as a result.

You can't drown your sorrows because problems can swim.


@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.