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April 17

   If my relationship has become steadily more disappointing, my reaction might have been to withdraw and wait for my partner to decide to leave, or for something to magically change.
   I live such days in a seeming twilight zone; I numb my emotions, and every day seems like the rest, almost void of any real happiness, or feelings of being truly alive. Without realizing it, my zest for life is put on hold, waiting for some magical change to occur - and more often than not, such a change never happens.
   Why do I do this to myself? Am I afraid that if I do things that make me feel good, my partner's reaction will be one of anger or revenge, for not staying down in the pits? Or am I relying on my partner so much for my good feelings, that I get silently angry when they don't meet my expectations?
   Whatever I do with my time, it's my time. Every second I spend in self-pity is lost forever. All I have to ask myself at such times is "what kind of memories do I want to create right now - sad, or contented ones?"

Just for Today
   I can blame my bad moods on my SO, the weather, or the man on the moon. But no matter who I blame them on, ultimately I'm responsible for my feelings right now, and the memories they leave me for the future.
   Today I'll take time today to be good to myself, and find joy in simple things - no matter how disappointing our relationship may be at the moment. I'll let time help me see what an example that makes for my SO.

Don't just count the days; make each day count.

@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.