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April 16

   We all probably have ideas of how one person shows love to another: a dozen roses, dining out, romantic cards, sharing sex, love notes, valentine chocolates, etc. We feel great when our partner does something that fits such expectations or hopes, but what happens when they don't?
   For example, my SO has a heavy week at the office, and decides to work late on the day of my birthday. In their mind, they may feel such dedication is important, to help them move up to a higher income position. They see the effort as essential to fulfilling the dream of owning a home together someday.
   In my mind though, what I may see is "work is more important than me". So I get disappointed, but try to hide it until the day when it suddenly explodes as part of a list of other unmet expectations.
   When expressions of love given by my SO aren't what I expect, maybe it's time to look at whether I prefer to be disappointed, or whether I can accept that love can be shown in many different ways. When I do feel let down, it's a good time to talk about my feelings to my partner, and also listen to them, to better understand how they saw their actions as loving expressions. When I do so, I may discover that the greater understanding of each other is one of the greatest gifts I can ever give.

Just for Today
   Have I been disappointed because I thought my SO would express their love in a certain way?
   Today I'll talk to my partner about my feelings, and listen and learn about theirs as well.

Love gives what is needed, but not always what is asked.


@Copyright Bernd Hansen - Contents may be downloaded or copied for personal non-commercial use.