When I was a kid, I couldn't wait until I was grown up, so that I could finally do what I wanted without asking my parents' permission.
Yet how often do I ask my partner's permission for things I do today? Maybe I do so when I want to spend a night out with friends, or spend money on a fairly costly item, or visit my parents, etc. I may even be asking for my SO's approval for simple things, such as going to bed, or leaving the dishes til later.
If my partner is constantly treating me like a child, or threatening me if I don't get their approval before I make certain choices, it may be time to look seriously at why I allow myself to be treated that way. If however my choices are normally respected, I may be unconsciously putting my SO in the role of a parent.
Doing so usually leaves me feeling hidden resentment. I feel caged at times, and wish I could have the freedom to make choices that are best for me What is stopping me? Maybe I'd feel better if I asked my SO about their feelings about my choice, took those into account, but then took my own responsibility for the final decision.
Sometimes we seek liberty only to choose the chains we want. - BH
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