archive1997.gif (2218 bytes)
Questions, responses, & comments about relationships from past forum postings
Archives Index | 1997a Archive Index | Search | Add New Posting | Relweb Home


Dealing with Depression - le

this is a great site ! :):):):):) I have been suffering from severe depression, and came across this site while surfing, looking for a way up, and you helped immensely ! :) I am currently going through a divorce. my 16 year old dropped out of school. my 20 year old left to move in with her boyfriend, and I have been informed that my job is moving to another state, so I am looking for a job. ( as if any one would hire me in my state of mind!) thanks for the special thoughts and lift I needed to make it through another day or two.

From: Bernd

Thanks for your kind words. I’m discovering more and more about my own depression, and I’m dismayed by how little information and awareness there still is of this in the medical and psychological fields. I think we’re pretty much still all pioneers in trying to find answers. The only thing I can hope for is that there’s some kind of other life beyond this, where I can say “ah ha! We’ve finally got a handle on this!” No harm in hoping, is there?:)

From: anonymous

This is an ultimate book I have come across. It has answers to all my questions. This book has pointed out to me that it is me that the problem exists and not my loving husband. It has motivated me to change myself and give all the love and happiness to my husband. All these days I have been very possessive. And hence this used to come out in the form of anger towards my husband. But after reading this book I definitely have got a direction towards changing myself. I am very thankful for putting such an exclusive edition on the internet and giving people free access to it to help them change their lives.

From: Petunia

I am finding a great deal of meditative input from the readings. Are these thoughts that you have been inspired to write or do you use a resource other than life experience?

From: Bernd

All of the above, but mostly life experience. Thanks for your kind comments.

From: tal

I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate this web site. I found it at a time when I really needed to learn about relationships. I was feeling lost in my relationship and my self-confidence was pretty low. Your site has taught me so much about myself and about what relationships should be like. I also love the fact that you incorporate Christian values. I can't wait to learn more from you. Thank you.

From: Grateful

Thank you. I was feeling pouty and unloved today. It's raining, cold, and with my history of major depression, intellectually I know that it's a feeling not to be trusted. Still, I needed some solace, and your website helped. A lot.

I read your entry for January 8th about pain, and it reminded me of something on the radio today that struck me. An actor appearing in a local production of "Shadowlands" was being interviewed, and at the end of the interview he gave the opening monologue from the play, in which C.S. Lewis tries to provide an explanation for suffering. I can't remember the exact wording, but I assimilated it as roughly...

Hunger exists to remind us to eat. If we didn't hunger, we would complacently starve our bodies. Suffering keeps us from starving our souls. It keeps us questing for God and becoming true lovers of our fellow man. As a footnote, I'd add that it keeps us learning how to love our SO's. At any rate, thanks again.

From: jasal

The daily thoughts help me to understand how to live life one day at a time. I cannot be happy with my S.O. until I am happy with being ME!! The daily thoughts are my reality check for this sometimes crazy world we live in.

From: Claudia

I just finished reading the page for July 18. How true these words rang in my soul as I contemplated the many affects that occur in my emotional realm!!!! A bit of self contemplation always reveals to me the places in my own life that are sapping away my serenity and joy. This process of recovery has been and continues to be an amazing journey into self awareness. It is, I am finding, only in knowing myself that I can truly begin to allow others to know me and to open myself to the knowing of others. It has made my life so much easier as I have given control to that Higher Power which has always been available to me. It has been pride and fear that have kept me from real love.

I wanted to share with you both some personal thoughts that have recently come to my awareness. I have sent a great deal of my adult life reacting to people and situations from a place of emotional triggers that have more to do with my inner injured child than my adult, growing self. Unless I care about myself enough to allow time for quiet reflection and soul connection I spin in emotional unrest and turmoil. The more days of self love that I accumulate the less time I am spending in distress. Those times of distress still come however and I am actually beginning to understand that since I am no longer living in a world of black and white or all or nothing, at no time am I a failure or have I reverted to pre-recovery state. I remember being my own worst enemy and I remember the beginnings of listening to the words that I spoke in my own mind concerning my worth and value. I was truly horrified in the beginning to hear how I treated myself. It wasn't easy at first to challenge the old stuff but opening my heart to the love offered through others in recovery and allowing enough space in my armor of protection for my Higher Power to begin to speak the words of love and belief that He had been trying to grant me for so long began to melt the barriers from my soul. I am delighted to be on this journey and in this place, for the most part, even when the experiences are hard to understand at the moment. I am learning that all that passes my way really does have purpose and often that purpose is revealed to me. Although this awareness usually comes in hindsight, I have had enough experiences in the last 8 1/2 years of love to build my faith and keep me coming back for more.

I want to share with you my most recent awareness and how it has impacted my steps forward. As you know, I am in the middle of divorce proceedings. My spouse is in a state of mental deterioration yet refuses to see or acknowledge what is happening in his world and the world of those around him in his illness. These past 8 years since my recovery began, we have grown further and further apart, now truly to the place of no return. I can honestly say that I did everything I could to give substance to our marriage but because of whatever demons he carries in his mind and soul he chose not to participate in growth and love. I cannot change these things and am at the place of acceptance with what I am now experiencing. Acceptance however does not mean that the experience is always easy. I face surgery this afternoon for a D and C and laporoscopy. I was horrified when I realized that in the recesses of my mind I was hoping to go under anesthesia and not wake up. As I contemplated the emotions that brought me to this place I realized that I was attempting to "do this on my own" and forgetting the beautiful and loving network of support that has been given to me. The intense reality of the difficulty of this experience was taking the place of the faith and trust that I have been gifted with through healing. I once again turn myself over to the power of love and hope and wish to share with you the gratitude that I feel for your part in my wholeness of spirit. The words and love that you have shared give me strength and courage. The honesty spoken by the people, who are so like me, that respond to the postings help me to realize that I am only as alone as I choose to be. Today I choose to be part of this larger family that God has provided and I rebuke the spirit of darkness that would have me give up the beauty of love for the horror of separateness. Thank you for loving.

The opinions expressed in any responses above are opinions only, and should not be taken as therapeutic
advice or counselling. For professional help with any problem, contact a trained therapist, or an appropriate
12 step or other support organization.
All contents Copyright Postings may be downloaded for personal or non-commercial use.