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 Panic Attacks - Damaged
Shields
I was just curious about how many people who have a
history of being in 'bad' relationships, and other
relationship 'dysfunctions', also have a history of
having Panic Disorder? It seems I'm always trying to find
a common denominator with my panic attacks, and even
though I haven't experienced many panic attacks LATELY,
it seems the attacks seem to come on strong whenever I've
reached a point where the stress of a bad relationship,
or other life stresses reaches a critical point. I've
come to a point however, where when an attack does occur,
I recognize them as being my body/mind's way of telling
me it's time for a drastic change in habit, i.e.
relationship, sleeping, eating.....etc...
 From: Lynda
Hi,
I myself suffered from panic attacks for over a year
in the 80's. I was terrified that I was dying or going
crazy. I was misdiagnosed with various
"hormone" reasons, hypoglycaemia, etc. because
this disorder wasn't as well documented then as it is
today. it wasn't until I picked up a magazine that had an
article in it about panic attacks and I said "my
God, that's me!". Once I had a name for this daily
interruption into my life I was able to "talk myself
down" whenever an attack would creep up on me.
Unfortunately, the article didn't mention why I might
be experiencing these and because I had apparently
"found the answer", I blissfully went on my
way.
In hindsight, and after much therapy and recovery
work, I came to realize that it was no accident that my
body was screaming at me to listen to it in the form of
panic attacks.
I had all my life, pushed unpleasantness down. My
early childhood sexual abuse, alcoholism, rapes, and
abuse that continued until I was 20. I pushed down my
husbands affairs, the business failures, his depression.
I did not know how to have my own feelings. It was never
safe for me to do so, so I would feel how ever people
wanted me to feel. And as I said I pushed the panic
attacks down too.
By doing this and ignoring what they were trying to
tell me, I ended up within 4 years having an affair and
was totally out of control. I guess I was behaving like a
rebellious teenager.( having 3 teens of my own we all
know how much fun I was to be around at this time)
Naturally, I hit bottom within 6 months and had to
finally start to face all the things I had spent a
lifetime pushing down, or die! I had no third choice I
could see. that's when I began to "listen" to
myself, to start my search for answers, just baby steps
at first, but steps I was doing for ME, and I had rarely
done anything just for me before.
Today, 6 years later, I am still going a step at a
time, a day at a time, but guess what? I smile----alot, I
laugh I play, I am feeling safer with myself and within
my relationship than I have ever felt. The hard and
sometimes almost intolerable work and pain I have
consciously chosen to go through has rewarded me and my
family many times over already.
You are very insightful to have recognized that you
are also experiencing panic attacks as a result of past,
ongoing, or a combination of dysfunction in your life.
Listen to your soul. Journal writing was very helpful as
a first step way for me to see on paper what I was unable
to "feel" at the time. Also, keeping a record
of your dreams. Bernd and I find we get a good deal of
insight into what is happening within us from our dreams.
You are aware, and that is the key, the answers will come
if you keep an ear out for them when your soul whispers
them to you. Remember, you are special, God doesn't make
mistakes:)
Good Luck and Huggggs
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